(Though nobody actually has it.)

06:45 Joel’s school alarm wakes the entire house. Except Joel.

09:37 Lindsay sets off to walk the dog then realises she’s still wearing her pyjama bottoms. She’s spent so much time in them recently she thinks they’re normal daywear.

11:23 Ian and Lindsay are discussing a friend’s horse.

“How long has she had him Linz?”

“Not sure but I don’t think he was a puppy when she got him.”

12:07 Lindsay is talking to Ian about a friend’s twin boy and girl.

“They’re not identical though.”

“Really! Funny that!”

15:02 Lindsay is willing the turkey to cook.

“Isn’t this turkey supposed to be doing something?”

“No. It’s dead.”

17:23 Joel is curious.

“Why are you cooking the turkey?”

“Because I’m doing dinner this year.”

“Oh God help us.”

18:43 Ian sets off to get Joel some cider.

“For goodness sake. I can barely cope with a normal Joel never mind a drunk one!”

Here’s what happened on Day Five