(Though nobody actually has it.)

06:45 Joel’s school alarm wakes the entire house. Except Joel.
09:37 Lindsay sets off to walk the dog then realises she’s still wearing her pyjama bottoms. She’s spent so much time in them recently she thinks they’re normal daywear.
11:23 Ian and Lindsay are discussing a friend’s horse.
“How long has she had him Linz?”
“Not sure but I don’t think he was a puppy when she got him.”
12:07 Lindsay is talking to Ian about a friend’s twin boy and girl.
“They’re not identical though.”
“Really! Funny that!”
15:02 Lindsay is willing the turkey to cook.
“Isn’t this turkey supposed to be doing something?”
“No. It’s dead.”
17:23 Joel is curious.
“Why are you cooking the turkey?”
“Because I’m doing dinner this year.”
“Oh God help us.”
18:43 Ian sets off to get Joel some cider.
“For goodness sake. I can barely cope with a normal Joel never mind a drunk one!”
Here’s what happened on Day Five