(Though nobody actually has it.)

09:02 Lindsay looks at the weather. She decides Frankie is Ian’s dog and Ian’s dog alone.

09:45 Lindsay counts her blessings. Parcels have to be delivered at a safe distance so it’s now no longer immediately obvious that she isn’t dressed and smelling fresh.

10:34 Lindsay commences the annual oven cleaning mission and makes her usual vow that she’ll do it more often next year (clean oven). She could really have done with something like a period of enforced isolation to keep on top of the housework in 2020.

11:53 Lindsay has a big shock and has to sit down. Sam’s offered to make her a cuppa.

12:01 “It’s a shame we can’t do Christingle this year kids, isn’t it?”

Radio silence

“I think there’s an open air carol service tomorrow? In the dark, in West Cumbria, in the middle of winter?”

Radio silence

Lindsay’s kids are no fun.

11:59 Lindsay is wiping the oven.

“What you doing?”

“I know you don’t see it often but it’s called cleaning the oven.”

“For Grandma.”

“No for Christmas!”

“For Grandma really though.”

“No. For Christmas!”

12:07 Lindsay’s friend sends her a Snapchat. Does she know how old she is?

“Abigail!! Come and sort this thing out!”

12:11 Lindsay reads that teachers are to do Covid tests in January. Sticking something up a student’s nose is something she could be persuaded to do.

12:35 Lindsay’s grumbling to Ian that the oven cleaner has burnt her arm.

“You should have let a grown up do it then shouldn’t you?”

13:32 Lindsay is still cleaning the oven

“Isn’t there a self cleaning function on the oven?!”

“Noooooooooo!”

14:03 Lindsay’s moved on to the glass doors.

“What you doing?”

“I know you don’t see it very often but I”m cleaning the glass.”

“For Grandma.”

“No. For Christmas.”

“For Grandma really though.”

“No. For Christmas!”

16:14 Lindsay has another shock and sits down. Ian admits he made a mistake.

17:02 Lindsay looks longingly at the cottage pie she’s made but can’t eat.

“I’m gonna stop cooking meat for you lot!”

“We thought you’d stopped cooking for us a long time ago.”

17:58 Lindsay starts wiping the skirting boards.

“What you-?”

“Yes! It’s for Grandma!”

Read what happened on Day 4