The mask is in the washing machine
The longest term ever is finally done
So that was teaching through Covid
Oh my word, wasn’t it fun?!
Students are now karate kids
They respond when they hear a shout
Not Mr Mijagi’s “Wax on! Wax off!”
But “Remember! Wipe in and wipe out!”
Every classroom has a station
Laden with tissues, wipes and gel
Bypass that hygiene table
And you’re pretty much condemned to hell.
“Wipe your tables! Wipe your seats!
Now sanitize your hands!
Windows open! Stay apart!
Obey all Boris’ demands!”
We’ve hardly had time to teach
We spend so long making everything clean
In ten years or so this generation of kids
Will be the tidiest adults that you’ve ever seen.
Classrooms are now divided
There’s a demarcation line clear to see
It’s them and us at all times
Unless you’re head to toe in unsuitable PPE.
Cross that sticky tape line at your peril
Or be fully prepared at all cost
It’s like Germany invading France
And we all know that they eventually lost.
How about teaching in a mask?
The kids say they don’t understand
Well that’s the excuse I’m going with
When lessons fail which I’d expertly planned.
The masks do come in handy though
When kids says something else wrong
You don’t have to try and hide the fact
You’ve been swearing at the buggers all day long.
Bubble is now the buzz word
We’re no longer allowed to mix
Except when they’re coming in on buses
And standing round corridors in their mini cliques.
Virtual assemblies are suddenly a necessity
CPD is now done all on a screen
Staff meetings are no more for the foreseeable
Until teachers are worthy of the vaccine.
But let’s have mass testing maybe
And a staggered return to schools
No let’s not, yes we will, no we won’t
We’re all being taken for imbecilic fools.
Give new guidance though in the last week
When the staff are all fraught and tired
No holiday for you dear teachers
Online learning is now probably required.
Forget time with your neglected families
There’s Teams lessons to be meticulously planned
Of course all the students have computers
And access to the high speed broadband.
Or maybe we’ll throw you a curveball
And think instead of the poor economy
Open schools, let COVID spread, blame teachers
Oh my goodness, aren’t we quite funny?
The mask is in the washing machine
The longest term ever is finally done
So that was teaching through Covid
Oh my word, wasn’t it fun?!
LIVE, PARENT, TEACH, REPEAT 
You certainly paint the picture of what schools are going through, especially teachers. Be strong and keep safe!
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Thanks. You too
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Oh AMEN to this!! I am not a teacher but I work in a school. We are all just collateral damage in this covid madness.
It’s our fault that classes are being sent home, it is our fault that children are giving their parent’s Covid. Don’t even think about self isolating because you’ll be made to feel TERRIBLE for letting down the school and your colleagues.
Don’t worry about our own health and anxiety, my personal mental health is as low now as it was when I lost my Mum 2 and a half years ago, and it’s because I am genuinely terrified of how quickly this is ripping through schools. I am so worried about bringing it home and inadvertently passing it on to someone who may not cope with it as well as I can. But also worrying that I may get it and have an underlying health condition that I don’t know about (my Mum didn’t know she had a hole in her heart since birth until she was 49!)
I hope that some better decisions are made for our return in 2021, but I am not hopeful. I understand the need for live to return to normal and for children to be in school but what I can’t get on board with is the general lack of respect for the school staff who are quite literally putting their lives at potential risk. We can’t go in with as much PPE as medical staff or even supermarket staff! It is crazy.
Whatever happens next, stay safe and thank you for sharing x x
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Thank you for shining a light on our plight. I have never felt more ineffective as a teacher.
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I feel we can’t do right for doing wrong at the moment. Fingers crossed for a better 2021!
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I don’t think people appreciated how hard school staff worked during the first lockdown. People thought we were having a nice jolly. I for one has to spend a day driving round delivering work to my students because they didn’t have internet/printers/ computers etc. I even had to buy some writing equipment and didn’t once expect to be paid back. And only giving us a couple of days notice before Christmas about a staggered return?! In the words of D-ream, things can only get better. Hopefully!!x
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