Ey Boris!

You’ve listened to nowt aas sed! You’ve ignored me fust letter. And you’ve ignored me second letter. Wat ya djurn?! The crack ont street is that ya is still thinking bout shutting schools for yan extra week. And I’ve telt ya. It’s a crackin’ idea. Aas telt ya once n arl tell ya agen. Arl sleep us out of this here pandemic. I promise ya. I’ll git lashed at yam and sleep forever. All us teachers will. This circuit breaker? It’ll fettle the virus. People are flait it’s gunna get bad agen. Aas nivver seen owt like this here virus but aas sure marra it’ll be reet if schools shut a bit longer.

Where as fray, we divnt want a full lockdown agen. It’s been garn on ower long now. Even t’jameaters fray Wukington agree. La’al kids divnt need to ga t’school. Just gizza yan extra week. Will yan extra week off school mek a difference? Will it heck like! Is this pandemic getting better? Is it wat! Have a deek at the latest numbers!

We divnt wanna ga t’ pub and get gattered. Ad love nowt better than t’ mek yam made meals agen but food’s garn gammy in me fridge cuz aas ower knackered to cook it. Us teachers, we’re gunna mek oursels badly. I’m sick of mekkin me bait too fur wuk!

Boris lad, thee is ower feckless. Aas nit gonna lie. Some of us wanna bust ya fyace. How neeyans giv ya a clout yet is beyond me. You’re ower busy listening to those specky boffins. And stop nebbing about wat wee Jimmy Krankie’s doing in Scotland and mek ya own mind up. We’ll tek a razzie if ya divnt. We’ll rive ya bloody crazy hair out and scop ya int dock. There’s summat up with ya if ya divnt have this circuit breaker. I mean is ya tapped like?

Away, mek a bloody decision. Divnt be a divvy! I know ya’ll tek nee notice any road but mind on wat I’ve been tellin ya! Sumyan’s gunna lamp thee if thou divnt get this sorted. So you’ve been telt!

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