And two people actually have it.

05:01 Lindsay wakes up for no particular reason. It appears her body has decided to work its way through the list of Covid symptoms. Today she will be starting the day off with a blocked nose and muscle aches (this is a sure sign of Covid as Lindsay hasn’t exercised since 2014) and her immune system has decided to bring back the firm favourite of banging bad head for old time’s sake.

06:47 It’s Joel turn this morning to inform his mother that he’s been a good little boy and has got up for school all by himself. Or maybe he’s concerned about rising energy costs and that’s why he’s slamming shut every door in the house.

07:36 Joel’s twining about having to walk to the bus stop for the first time in 6 years.

“How will I get home?”

“Jump on one of those gingers.”

“What? Sam?”

“No! The scooters!!”

07:37 Joel finally leaves and peace is restored. Lindsay can finally go back to sleep

07:39 Bladder: “Morning Lindsay!! Wakey wakey!”

11:43 Boredom sets in. The online shopping begins. The bank account groans.

14:12 Lindsay finishes sorting out work for her class. Abigail bounces in.

“Can you help me with my schoolwork Mam?”

This is the not the day Lindsay envisaged. As in Abigail actually doing any schoolwork.

15:37 Lindsay finds her favourite photo of Joel.

“Abigail. Come and look at this photo of my Shmoo.”

“Why don’t you have a special name for me?”

“I do. Arse.”

16:42 Joel arrives home and checks on his mam.

“Can I get you anything?”

“Some Cheese and Onion crisps please Joel.”

“Ok. What flavour?”

“Arse!”

“Oi! That’s my name!”