03:59 In today’s thrilling instalment, Lindsay is woken by the contents of a neighbour’s recycling boxes being blown down the street.
10:32 Ian and Lindsay set off on a mission impossible.
“Where are you going?”
“To look for my lost car keys.”
“Where have you lost them?”
“Well, I know exactly where they are Joel. They’re by the third bend in the river, on a large tree stump with a note attached telling the finders where we live. I just thought I’d leave them overnight for a bit of fun, maybe even encourage some burglars to try and break in or steal the car. So that’s where I’ve lost them.”
10:37 Ian and Lindsay set off with a supposed expert sniffer dog and a metal detector. Five minutes in, all Lindsay can detect is a stupid, nose blind spaniel and a very angry husband.
11:02 Lindsay shows Ian her undiscovered lake. Ian thinks Lindsay really needs to sort out her priorities.
11:39 Lindsay screams loudly as she finds her keys.
“My eyes aren’t gammy after all!”
12:32 Lindsay appears to be on a roll. After her lake discovery and successful car key locating mission, she finds ancient food stalactites in her microwave.
14:17 Lindsay’s missed something off the shopping list.
“Don’t suppose you got frozen pastry?”
“What am I supposed to do now for school cheese flan?”
“Make your own pastry?”
“Do what now?”
15:49 Lindsay finds herself ironing. Another Easter miracle.
17:48 Joel and Lindsay are trying to arrange a pick up point.
“I’ll park in the bottom car park Joel.”
“So at the top?”
“No. At the bottom as you come in.”
“So at the top next to the clubhouse?”
“No. At the bottom, by the gate, on the gravel.”
“So top of the main pitch?”
“Should I just stand on top of the car with a giant flag shouting Schmoopaloo?”
“I think I know where you mean now.”
19:12 Lindsay pours a vodka.
“You’re starting early. What you celebrating? Jesus’ resurrection?”
“No! The resurrection of my car keys!”