
06:36 Frankie has an early morning grooming session. He might as well have got in the shower then used the hairdryer, the racket he’s made licking and scratching.
09:11 Ian wakes up and is shocked by his appearance.
“Today Matthew, I’m going to be Wreck It Ralph.”
09:31 Lindsay choose to settle in the conservatory to enjoy her morning cuppa. The sun isn’t shining on that side of the house to highlight month old dust and dog produced mud splatters.
10:01 Lindsay’s completely lost track of time.
“Lovely weather we’re having for March, isn’t it?”
“That’s because it’s April.”
11:43 Ian’s got over the shock of his hair and is now shocked at the state of the bathroom.
“Linz! Have you been cutting your fringe in the sink again?”
“No. I’ve finally got round to plucking my eyebrows.”
12:02 Lindsay is admiring Ian’s key ring.
“Who made that?”
“Joel.”
“Why’s it got 42 on?”
“For my age. Except it took him so long to make it that I was 43 when he finished.”
12:19 Ian’s opening his mail.
“I don’t understand these pension letters.”
Lindsay’s ears prick up. She always likes to know how much Ian is worth dead.
13:57 If there was an Olympic event called Messing Up The Entire House Just By Emptying One Cupboard, Lindsay would have won Sports Personality, appeared on Question of Sport numerous times and been made a Dame.
14:04 Joel is displaying his maths skills.
“So, if I order again, I get 65% discount, then a 30% discount for Easter then another 10% with a special code.”
“So, basically Joel, they are gonna pay you to not buy their product.”
16:23 Sam appears to be enjoying throwing darts near Lindsay’s head a bit too much. Maybe he read yesterday’s blog.
17:01 Abigail wants to eat an Easter egg.
“You can’t yet.”
“When can I?”
“When Jesus has risen.”
“What time’s that?”
19:02 Abigail appears to have become middle aged overnight.
“Kinder egg toys were much better back in my day.”
I emptied a kitchen cupboard today. Now I can hardly see my office floor and I’m annoyed that my local FB marketplace ads are getting zero offers.
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