10:35 Lindsay decides today is a bad Good Friday. Children are emerging from their bedrooms before midday.

10:37 Lindsay is discussing two crashes she’s seen in the last two days with Ian.

“And you were in the vicinity at the time?”

“Well, yes.”

“Bit suspicious.”

11:23 Joel asks about tea.

“I can only cook fish today remember.”

“That’s just a new excuse for being too lazy to feed us.”

11:32 Joel is clearly enjoying his protein powder. The kitchen looks like a drugs den with lines of white powder everywhere.

12:01 Lindsay is enjoying the perfect dog walk. Not a human to be found anywhere.

12:17 Lindsay loses her bearings. Can be added to the list of things she’s lost over the years which includes marbles, motivation and midriff.

14:01 Lindsay enjoys a scintillating conversation with Sam. How she doesn’t fall asleep at the wheel is a miracle.

14:12 It is a good Good Friday after all. Lindsay is home alone and farty Frankie is keeping his distance.

15:12 Lindsay is living in dangerous times. There’s no one around to distract her from making non-essential internet purchases.

15:17 Ian phones and keeps Lindsay talking so she doesn’t hit the Buy Now button.

16:02 Lindsay is clearly missing Joel. She decides to wind herself up instead by trying to do a cryptic crossword.

17:12 Lindsay dyes her hair and makes an almighty mess in the sink. She can’t decide if she’s wiping away hair dye or two week old soap scum.