06:36 Some restrictions are lifted at the start of a three day heatwave. Not in Cumbria. If Lindsay met 5 people in her garden today, they’d all end up in Munchkin Land. Although it would be a nice change of scenery.

11:57 The class are looking at marine food chains.

“Miss I’ve tried to draw a seahorse and it’s ended up being the best jellyfish I’ve ever drawn.”

13:37 Lindsay’s talking about her visit to Israel.

“I saw where Jesus was supposedly born. And no. I wasn’t there in 0AD.”

13:38 Lindsay mentions Gologotha.

“Where’s that?”

“Israel.”

“Have you ever been to Israel Miss?”

16:23 Lindsay comes home to the news that Frankie’s anal glands have been emptied. There was no mention of this in all the puppy books. Just like baby books, they’re full of lies.

16:34 Lindsay comes out in sympathy with Frankie given the amount of refuse she dumps from her derrière.

17:12 Sam announces he’s been selected for a video interview with a robot.

“C3PO or the Terminator?”

Hopefully Sam won’t look as simple in the interview as he does right now.

17:47 Ian ventures to football training for first time in weeks. If Lindsay was a betting woman, she’d put odds on (or would that not give her much money?) chocolate back Ian returning with a dodgy knee and a sore ankle.

18:34 Abigail wants a considerable amount of hair cut off. Lindsay hopes it will work the same as with Samson but she’ll lose her sarcasm.

19:17 Ian returns. Lindsay would have lost a lot of money.

“How come you’re ok if you’ve been running?”

“What makes you think I would be running at football?”

It’s Lindsay’s turn to look simple.