Day Eighty-Four in Lockdown #3.0

09:23 Lindsay’s getting the kids to use the analogue clocks they’ve just made.

“Use your flaps girls!”

Not an expression she’d ever thought she would use.

10:01 Lindsay’s helping a pupil describe an image.

“What could you say about the spaceship.”

“The turkey spaceship is beneath the ocean on a rock.”


“Yeah, look. Turkey.”

“As in the animal?”

“No Miss. Are you wearing your contacts? There. Turkey blue.”

“I think you mean turquoise.”

“Oh yeah. I always get those mixed up. Like Nana bread with my curry.”

10:47 Lindsay hears one of her old class talking about the next lesson.

“Have we got Maths next?”

“Yes with Mrs Stevenson.”

“Yeah, but that’s not proper Maths.”

10:58 Lindsay starts climbing the stairs for her pretend Maths lesson.

13:37 Lindsay suddenly spots that a pupil has finally arrived.

“Oh you’re here.”

“Yes. I’ve been here since the moment I walked in.”

16:54 Lindsay seems to be in a good mood.

“Good day?”


“Good lesson?”

“Not really.”

“Kids finally cracked analogue clocks?”

“Not really.”

“Sam’s got a job?”

“Not really.”


“I’ve got 1000 followers on Instagram!”

“Glad you’re concentrating on the important stuff.”

16:57 Joel enters the room. Lindsay frowns.

“I come in peace.”

17:03 Lindsay’s really upset with Boris’ new briefing room.

“Why did he need a new one? There was nothing wrong with the old one! How can you spend 2.6 million on one room”

“Oh I don’t know. You seem quite able to. Next and Amazon send something new for ours everyday.”

17:24 Ian’s sat talking on the phone with his AirPods in. From a distance he’s laughing at himself and looks stupid. It’s like watching baby Joel all over again.

18:02 Joel wants to make a smoothie in the blender which hasn’t seen the light of day in years.

“You’ll need to clean it first.”

“OK. Should I use Dettol?”

“No! Don’t be stupid…on second thoughts, yes. Use Dettol.”

19:07 Ian walks in the living room.

“The telly’s broke Linz.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah. Emmerdale’s on.”

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