Day Eighty in Lockdown #3.0

07:01 Lindsay makes Nutella on toast for Sam. She notices for the first time that the recommended amount is one teaspoon. The makers have clearly never met Sam.

07:32 Ian asks Lindsay to send an email asking for wood for noggings. She doesn’t trust him so goggles noggins. Now she doesn’t like him because she’s gonna have to tell him he was right.

14:59 Lindsay drives round town for ages looking for a free car park space, wasting a gallon of petrol in the process.

15:16 Lindsay’s wandering round town. She suddenly remembers she’s still wearing the pipe cleaner necklace a student gave her earlier.

15:03 Lindsay spots a couple of toddlers following their mother obediently like a pair of ducklings. If she’d tried that with Joel, she’d have lost him in seconds.

15:38 The optician is checking Lindsay’s eyes.

“How are you finding contact lenses?”


“Why’s your right eye bleeding?”

“I stabbed it trying to get the lens out.”

“Would you like to choose some new frames?”


17:23 Ian’s complaining about his hair.

“I look like I’m in a Britpop band.”

“You do actually. Are you sure you don’t want me to have a go?”

“No! I don’t want to look like an escapee from a mental asylum!”

“You’d just blend right in in this nuthouse.”

17:03 Frankie’s getting stroked by Joel.

“He’s got a bump near his eye.”

“That’ll be his first tick of the year.”

“What did he get right?”


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