07:16 Joel is up, fed, showered and dressed with 15 minutes to spare on his first day back at school. Lindsay gives it a day.
07:54 Lindsay does the morning dog walk for a change. She just needs to acquire bionic vision to spot the enemy (other dogs) before Donald Trump (Frankie) launches an unprovoked attack (barking for no reason at all).
08:12 Lindsay is listening to her eclectic mix on Spotify. She decides that if Nik Kershaw and Rita Ora formed a duet, they could call themselves Ki-Ora. Lindsay needs to go back to work.
13:49 Sam’s rushing to get ready for a Zoom meeting.
“What’s the rush Sam?”
“I’ve only got ten minutes.”
“You’ve got half an hour. Look at the clock.”
Lindsay’s not holding out much hope for his Maths A-Level grade.
14:23 Sam’s not keen on Lindsay sitting under the dining table, feeding him information during the meeting. Lindsay’s disappointed. She always fancied herself as a gnome.
14:32 Abigail’s upset.
“Why do I need to knock WiFi off?”
“To make sure Sam has a good connection for his meeting.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Well, you won’t be able to do live lessons.”
“Cool. Sam’s my favourite brother.”
“He’s hardly got any competition, has he?”
15:34 Lindsay’s still stuck upstairs with no WiFi. She wonders if this is how Anne Frank felt.
15:56 Lindsay texts Ian to not come home because Sam is still in the meeting.
“The coast is not clear. I repeat. The coast is not clear.”
She may be taking all these WW2 analogies too far. And she needs to stop feeding the kids rations too.
16:12 Joel opens his mouth.
“Mam. Who does Abigail look like?”
“People say she looks like me.”
“She doesn’t. I look like you. And Abigail looks like me.”
“In which case, Abigail looks like me.”
“No. Abigail doesn’t look like you. I look like you. Abigail looks like me. Mam, where are you going?”
17:02 Sam drops a bombshell.
“I’m not a fan of cheese.”
Lindsay always did wonder if she picked up the right baby. She always found it strange that Sam could add up and she can’t.
18:12 Abigail decides to do some schoolwork.
“Mam. Will you help me with telling the time in German?”
“Why are you struggling?”
“Because I can’t tell it in English.”
“Neither can your favourite brother!”
18:13 Ian announces he’s going for a pre night shift nap. Lindsay sets off the microwave, washing machine, dryer, TV in the kitchen and leaves the living room TV talking to itself.