Day Sixty-Three in Lockdown #3.0

07:16 Joel is up, fed, showered and dressed with 15 minutes to spare on his first day back at school. Lindsay gives it a day.

07:54 Lindsay does the morning dog walk for a change. She just needs to acquire bionic vision to spot the enemy (other dogs) before Donald Trump (Frankie) launches an unprovoked attack (barking for no reason at all).

08:12 Lindsay is listening to her eclectic mix on Spotify. She decides that if Nik Kershaw and Rita Ora formed a duet, they could call themselves Ki-Ora. Lindsay needs to go back to work.

13:49 Sam’s rushing to get ready for a Zoom meeting.

“What’s the rush Sam?”

“I’ve only got ten minutes.”

“You’ve got half an hour. Look at the clock.”

“Oh yeah.”

Lindsay’s not holding out much hope for his Maths A-Level grade.

14:23 Sam’s not keen on Lindsay sitting under the dining table, feeding him information during the meeting. Lindsay’s disappointed. She always fancied herself as a gnome.

14:32 Abigail’s upset.

“Why do I need to knock WiFi off?”

“To make sure Sam has a good connection for his meeting.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Well, you won’t be able to do live lessons.”

“Cool. Sam’s my favourite brother.”

“He’s hardly got any competition, has he?”

15:34 Lindsay’s still stuck upstairs with no WiFi. She wonders if this is how Anne Frank felt.

15:56 Lindsay texts Ian to not come home because Sam is still in the meeting.

“The coast is not clear. I repeat. The coast is not clear.”

She may be taking all these WW2 analogies too far. And she needs to stop feeding the kids rations too.

16:12 Joel opens his mouth.

“Mam. Who does Abigail look like?”

“People say she looks like me.”

“She doesn’t. I look like you. And Abigail looks like me.”

“In which case, Abigail looks like me.”

“No. Abigail doesn’t look like you. I look like you. Abigail looks like me. Mam, where are you going?”

17:02 Sam drops a bombshell.

“I’m not a fan of cheese.”

Lindsay always did wonder if she picked up the right baby. She always found it strange that Sam could add up and she can’t.

18:12 Abigail decides to do some schoolwork.

“Mam. Will you help me with telling the time in German?”

“Why are you struggling?”

“Because I can’t tell it in English.”

“Neither can your favourite brother!”

18:13 Ian announces he’s going for a pre night shift nap. Lindsay sets off the microwave, washing machine, dryer, TV in the kitchen and leaves the living room TV talking to itself.

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