07:35 Lindsay hears Frankie coming upstairs. She plays dead so he doesn’t demand attention. Turns out she’d make a good dog. Or dead person.
08:32 Lindsay’s confused about a Facebook post about rouge traders. It’s troubling the French graduate as to why she’s never heard of these coloured cowboys.
08:37 Ping! It meant rogue.
10:47 Lindsay’s confused again. Paul Burrell has liked one of her Instagram posts. Why would the former butler of a dead princess like her photo?
10:59 Ian’s now confused as to why Lindsay has moved the vase of flowers.
“Why have you done that? There’s a massive gap there now. It looks stupid.”
“I know. It’s almost like we need something to be delivered today to fill that gap.”
12:36 Lindsay hasn’t complained about her 6 week old sore ankle for at least two hours. She now has a swollen leg. She hikes up her joggers and walks round like a golfer from the 1920s.
“Look Abigail! Spot the difference!”
“They used to be skinny?”
“You won’t be laughing when it’s a serious illness and I die!”
Ian starts singing ‘Ding-Dong! The Witch is Dead.’
12:37 Lindsay seeks sympathy elsewhere.
“Joel. Spot the difference!”
“One leg is fat and the other is fatter.”
12:39 Lindsay tries again.
“Sam. Spot the difference.”
“Is is your slippers?”
12:41 Lindsay goes back to thinking about why the former butler of a dead princess would like her photo.
14:34 “Mam. Can you help with my German?”
For some reason, Lindsay envisages a man wearing lederhosen and swigging beer who is annoying her Schmoopaloo. Joel means translating sentences into the past tense.
18:02 Lindsay’s watching The Tudors again.
“Linz. What’s the current obsession with Henry VIII?”
“He knows how to get rid of a spouse or two.”