03:36 Lindsay wakes up to find she’s in a Stealers Wheel song. She’s got one clown to the left of her and a joker to the right, both snoring. Ian and Frankie best steer clear of her today. Or protect their ears.

12:56 Lindsay comes back from work to a clean house. It was a nice surprise. Obviously if she went to work more often, her house would be spotless. Luckily she’s not that bothered about having a clean house.

13:02 “Why did you go into school today Mam?”

“I’m still asking myself the exact same question.”

14:23 Lindsay sees a steady increase in blog views. And porn messages. Yin and yang.

14:57 Ian and Lindsay need to pick up a large item so Lindsay is driving Ian’s car. It takes them five minutes to set off so Lindsay can try and remember how to drive it.

“Is it like being in a car with Sam, Ian?”

“No. Worse.”

15:26 Lindsay clambers into bed again with Henry VIII.

15:45 Lindsay has a missed message from Ian.

“Why didn’t you answer?”

“I was having a nap.”

“A nap?!!”

“It’s Wellbeing Wednesday. I was being well in bed.”

16:01 Lindsay’s shocked at an article on Facebook. “Vaccinate all school staff from cleaners.” Lindsay thinks that’s a bit harsh. Surely Covid-19 is the real problem, not cleaners.

16:02 Lindsay scrolls down. “Vaccinate all school staff from cleaners to headteachers.” That makes more sense.

16:23 Lindsay gets a work email reminding her that it’s National Careers Week next week. She’ll be definitely seeing if anything takes her fancy.

18:01 Frankie’s sitting beautifully. He’s not listening to anyone in his house. He’s listening to Abigail’s dance teacher.

18:12 Lindsay settles down to do some planning. Death Eaters Sam and Joel immediately appear. Lindsay’s sure there are hidden cameras in this house.

18:23 “Sam! Will you drive your poor mam to Tesco for some milk?”

“Is that classed as an essential journey?”

“Yes. It is essential because I have had to drink two essential vodkas.”

18:27 Sam starts driving in the opposite direction to Tesco.

“I didn’t mean any Tesco in the county!! The one in our actual town would be nice!”