08:36 Lindsay’s confused by a headline.

“Why is Georgia’s libido getting funding?!”

“It’s a Georgian lido!”

Lindsay hunts for her glasses then realises they’re on her face.

08:42 One of the clocks in the kitchen is slowly going backwards. Lindsay wishes she could go back in time and do all the things on her lockdown list. Or not do teacher training.

11:12 One of Lindsay‘s pupils correctly names a quarter! That’ll be a quarter of a bottle tonight to celebrate!

12:36 Lindsay walks upstairs and is about to ask if everyone’s OK or needs help. Sensible Lindsay tells stupid Lindsay to shut the hell up and have a nap.

12:28 “Mam! Are you having a nap?”

“No. I’m doing History planning. I’m watching the Tudors.”

“I thought you were doing William the Conqueror?”

“Yes but I’m being organised. 443 years in advance.”

15:32 Lindsay sits down. Abigail and Joel suddenly appear like a pair of Death Eaters.

15:33 Joel needs help. With schoolwork, not in general. Although he needs that too.

“Can you help with my English?”

“How?”

“Just read through it. Then maybe highlight good words. And comment on the tone. And the structure.”

“So just do it?!”

“OK then.”

15:54 It’s Abigail’s turn.

“Mam. You’ll be able to help me with Biology, won’t you?”

“I’ll try. What is it?”

“I need to give a presentation on chlamydia.”

“And what makes you think I can help with that?!”

17:01 Lindsay is sick of telling Joel that his tea is ready and puts it back in the oven.

17:02 Lindsay finally sits down to have her own tea and Joel appears.

“Fecking arse.”

“Mam!”

“Did I say that out loud?!”

Lindsay needs to be very careful when she’s back in the classroom.

18:32 Lindsay is watching the news and finds herself unoffended by Boris’ hair because the classroom display behind him is shocking. There’s a teacher out there worse than her.