10:01 Ian’s off for a dog walk.
“Why don’t you ask Joel. It’s nice to have company.”
“It is. But Joel?”
11:12 Lindsay sits down to some lesson planning. Also knows as browsing Pinterest and stealing other people’s good ideas.
12:57 Lindsay’s looking at the local weather presenter. She starts giving him some advice. He needs to lose weight, have a shave and get some fashion sense. Well, Ian thinks she’s talking to the guy on the telly.
“Why are you looking at me?”
13:34 Ian is explaining the Mandela Effect to Lindsay.
“What does E.T. say?”
“No. Home phone. What does the guy in Jaws say when they’re on the boat?”
“We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
“Nope. You’re gonna need a bigger boat. It’s people remembering things differently to how they actually happened.”
“Like us thinking babies were cute so we should keep on having them?”
14:23 Ian is listening to some Tory minister talking about how the economy will bounce back because everyone has been saving money.
“Not if you’re married to a Lindsay.”
16:46 Lindsay forgets all about Lent and scoffs a packet of Hula Hoops. All’s not lost though. She’s given up parenting too and she’s stuck to that one.
18:32 Lindsay is playing along on Mastermind. She gets a Maths question right and thinks she’s on a roll.
“Which French word is a creamy substance used as a basis for cakes?”
“Right Ian. I know this. Fondu.”
“The answer is fondant.”
“That’s because I don’t do cakes.”
18:42 The Chinese delivery driver is lost and phones Lindsay.
“Right, turn left straight away, then we’re the first right, I mean left. No, second left. And our door is..oh it’s dark. You can’t tell. Well, we’re number 20. Actually, I can’t remember if we have a number. I’ll look out for you.”
“That’s us not eating tonight kids.”