08:37 Frankie looks at Lindsay, pleadingly.

“We’ll be out for nine Frankie.”

09:31 Lindsay falls down a Netflix hole.

“We’ll be out for ten Frankie.”

10:32 Lindsay is enjoying another delightful walk. It must be Storm Frankie today given the water and mud being thrown at her every time he runs past.

10:37 Lindsay must think carefully about future online purchases. She needs waterproofs, not photo frames, fountain pen cartridges, jade face rollers or a random shelf.

11:16 Lindsay gets the fright of her life. She hears a sudden noise and spins round like DI Fleming from Line of Duty. She discovers the noise is coming from the phone in her pocket. It’s started playing some random song by The Weekend.

11:17 Lindsay wishes it was the weekend so Ian could walk his own bloody dog.

12:01 Lindsay googles dog breeds that don’t like to go out in winter. She wonders if there’s a dog equivalent of Noel Edmond’s Swap Shop. Or even a child one.

12:13 Lindsay wonders if you can buy fireworks this time of year. She needs some to stick up her kids’ derrières to get them out of bed, because kicking them there isn’t working.

12:32 Sam is intrigued by Lindsay’s lunch.

“What on earth is that?”

“Garlic mushrooms. Why?”

“It’s grey.”

“Yeah. To match the kitchen.”

15:06 Lindsay checks her pension statement. Looks like she’ll have to be nice to Ian for the time being.

15:57 Lindsay’s trying to persuade Joel to do the National Citizen Service.

“Why do you have to do?”

“The first week is team building.”

“What do you build?”

17:12 Ian and Lindsay are trying to pick photos for the new frames. Abigail takes an interest.

“Hang on! Why are there no baby photos of me in this album?”

“We got bored.”

18:12 Lindsay’s moving the new rug.

“It’s like you’re dragging a dead body.”

“I’m in training.”

18:32 Lindsay is crying.

“What’s wrong Linz?”

“They’ve all asked for seconds! And it was something I cooked.”

19:01 Sam and Lindsay are talking about the weather.

“Is this a storm Mam?”

“ Not sure. I haven’t heard any names mentioned. Abigail was the first storm named by the Met Office.”

“Has there been a Storm Joel?”

“Yeah. Started on 10th August 2005 and has affected our house ever since.”