07:59 Lindsay’s living life on the edge. She puts the black bin out with seconds to spare.
09:32 Ian and Lindsay are talking about changing the colour scheme in the conservatory.
“How long is it since we got the new kitchen?”
“Can’t remember. I wasn’t working full time.”
“Well that narrows it down to sixteen years then.”
09:57 Lindsay’s moaning again.
“I preferred the first lockdown. I didn’t have to teach properly.”
“Since when have you taught properly?!”
12:12 Ian’s going on about how he struggles to pay attention to Kier Starmer when he talks because he’s dull. Ian says some other stuff too but Lindsay switches off.
12:32 Lindsay serves up Frankie’s food. She whistles for him but he looks completely disinterested for some reason but Abigail comes running.
“Ah, it was you I was meant to be feeding.”
13:43 Ian’s getting fed up.
“Stop nagging me woman!”
“Well stop coming home then.”
14:35 Abigail spots Lindsay with Monopoly.
“Are we playing?”
“No. I’m hiding it so nobody gets any ideas.”
15:57 Sam loses 5 pounds. Ian’s shaves off his Afro.
16:23 Hermes make their daily visit while Lindsay’s trying to sleep.
“Oh! He’s denoyed my wap!!”
19:09 Lindsay glances at a group What’s App message and chokes on her tea. She thought a colleague wanted an 80s power wank. Walk, Lindsay! It says walk!
19:10 Lindsay’s on the Specsavers website arranging an eye test.