Day Forty-Two in Lockdown #3.0

08:03 Ian giggles in his sleep. He’ll soon stop laughing when Lindsay presents him with today’s job list.

09:23 Lindsay gets a personal text message from ‘Royal Mail’.

“Oh, I’ve missed a parcel apparently. Wasn’t expecting anything though. Didn’t realise they sent text messages….”

“Don’t click the link!!!”

09:26 Lindsay discovers Abigail needs a hair bun for her dancing workshop.

“Abigail!! Get up!!! I’ve only got 2 and a half hours to make a hash of this!”

10:12 Lindsay’s in a bad mood. She can’t find the remote for the TV in the living room. She’s using the one for the kitchen TV but that turns the kitchen TV on even when she’s in the living room. And when she’s in the kitchen, the living room TV changes. She’s running between the two like a fool.

“Mam! What are you doing?”

“I can’t find the remote.”

“Oh. I kicked it under the TV unit. Sorry.”

“I’ll kick you to….”

12:36 Joel remembers what day it is.

“Can we have pancakes later Mam?”

“Yes you can. Absolutely.”

“You’ve bought ready made mix haven’t you?”

“Yes I have.”

13:03 Lindsay discovers a new series of Unforgotten is starting next week. She starts writing to Boris to delay the reopening of schools.

13:04 “Mam. Why are you staring at the computer screen? What are you doing?”

“I’ve forgotten.”

15:02 Lindsay’s fed up.

“I’m sick of wearing glasses. I’m gonna book an appointment to get my ears tested.”

15:46 “Joel. Do you think I’d look better without glasses?”

“No. They hide your massive forehead.”

“Thanks. But I normally have a fringe.”

“Yeah. I don’t like that either.”

16:12 Lindsay’s thinking of how she can spend more money.

“We could hang this picture of the kids in the corner but I think it’ll be a bit tight.”

“It’ll be OK. We’ll just chop Joel off.”

17:04 Ian sets about doing one of his jobs. Making circle pancakes in a square pan. For the third year running, Lindsay’s forgotten to buy a frying pan for the new hob. She says forgotten. She has much better things to be spending Ian’s wage on.

17:59 Lindsay makes an announcement.

“Well, in four hours, that’s me not eating crisps for 40 days.”

“Oh great. Jesus complained less in the desert than you’re gonna for six weeks.”

18:55 Lindsay pours herself a large vodka.

“Remember you’re walking the dog in the morning Linz.”

“I know. I’ll be fine.”

“You can’t walk him sober without falling over so you’ve no chance hungover.”

Sam might be earning himself some extra pocket money in the morning.


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