Yoohoo Boris!!

Me again.

Before you start planning out that roadmap, I just thought I’d point out that the new series of Unforgotten starts on February 22nd.

Not sure it’s something you’ve ever watched, but it’s bloody brilliant. I would tell you some of the plots but I’ve forgotten them. Now, the series is six episodes which takes us to the Easter holidays. So, what are the chances of delaying the reopening of schools (well secondary schools. Bugger primaries – I’ve moved over to the dark side.) until after Easter? We don’t want tired and disgruntled teachers even more upset because their viewing of Unforgotten is marred by the thought of having to go into work the next day. I mean, you know what us teachers are like when we’re angry. We’re terrible for just carrying on doing the job the best we can whilst keeping our pupils safe. So Monday 19th April to reopen secondaries? Perfect! I mean, who wants a four week term anyway? You just and so get the buggers to remember anything and it’s time to stop again.

We do deserve a little reward. Us teachers have been sat sitting at a screen for umpteen hours a day, conducting 6 seances, sorry lessons. (There usually wasn’t anybody there). You’re lucky. You can get Pandemic Pete or Dull Dom to be supply PM now and then at press conferences to give us all a break from your stupid hair and countless guffaws. I’ve had six weeks of nobody answering my questions. I now know how Laura Kuenssberg and Robert Peston feel.

Anyhow, oh, I’ve forgotten what I was talking about. Oh yes, Unforgotten. So, yes, if you could take that into account, that would be great. Don’t listen to Gavin. Rumour has it he’s more a Midsomer Murders kind of guy. Actually, you need to get Priti down there. That place has one hell of a crime rate. Or maybe you should be investigating that John Nettles, because, in his previous post in Jersey, that island was not a safe place to live either! I’m not convinced he’s up for the job. But then, you know all about that.

Err, not sure how you end letters to people you don’t respect.

From me.

P.S Line of Duty is rumoured to be starting in March but I know that’s pushing it a bit to ask for another six weeks. I’ll talk to the BBC instead about putting it on Fridays. Actually, no Saturdays, because I’m usually asleep by 6pm on Fridays. Bye again!