08:36 Ian’s addicted to Line of Duty, thanks to Lindsay going on about in Lockdown #1.

“Oh, is she out of prison now Ian?”

“She hasn’t been in yet!”

“Oops.”

08:54 Lindsay’s blog has a new follower – how to make your marriage brilliant. Just a bit better would do.

09:02 Lindsay’s got the day off. It’s Wellbeing Wednesday.

“What time are you going to work Ian?”

“Not till half three.”

“Well that’s no good for my wellbeing is it?!!”

09:36 The kids start emerging downstairs.

“This isn’t good for my wellbeing either.”

09:47 Lindsay ratches through the bread bin. Either someone in the house is trying to follow in Joseph Lister’s footsteps or that tea cake has been there a while.

10:12 Ian is in a state of shock.

“Linz. Someone has put a bin bag at our back door in the middle of the night but hasn’t managed to make it all the way to the black bin.”

Forget ‘sarcasm gets you nowhere.’ Sarcasm is gonna get Ian a bed in the bloody garage.

12:23 Lindsay goes to type ‘Ian’ but it comes out as Osama.

“My phone thinks you’re a former American president. It’s typed Osama.”

“That’s Obama woman!”

“Well, my phone thinks you’re a…”

“I get it!”

12:36 Lindsay catches Ian watching Line of Duty again.

“Oh, she’s finally lost her arm then.”

“What?”

“There. She’s wearing a sling.”

“It’s a handbag.”

“Oops.”

13:37 Lindsay’s spending her day off sorting out home insurance.

“Which insurance did you go for?”

“Hastings”

“Were they the cheapest?”

“No. It’s the name of the policeman who gets all the baddies in Line of Duty. You should know that.”

13:02 Ian is completely addicted. Lindsay starts watching the episode with him.

“Don’t say a word!”

“I won’t. Has he stopped using the wheelchair?”

“Aaaagghhhhh!”

13:32 Ian’s happy because he’s finally got his webcam to work. With a work colleague. In the bedroom.

14:42 Lindsay goes to make a cuppa. Sam’s used all the milk. Wellbeing Wednesday can just feck off.

14:42 Lindsay still hasn’t seen Joel today. Maybe Wellbeing Wednesday isn’t so bad after all

15:03 “Mam. I need to do negative sentences in French.”

“I am not happy. Nobody will leave me alone. Wellbeing Wednesday is not going well.”

“That’s not French.”

“I shrugged my shoulders at the end.”

16:23 Abigail’s been using Lindsay’s iPad.

“Mam. Did you read with that boy? He’s sent you loads of messages.”

“Nope. I just did what he does with me.”

“What’s that?”

“Didn’t listen to a word he said.”