08:34 Lindsay’s getting ready for another day at the circus.

“What are you teaching today?”

“I’ll be talking about fractions and explanation texts, but I’ll end up teaching absolutely nothing.”

08:47 Lindsay looks at Frankie, so expectant every morning at the prospect of his walk. A bit like Ian at the prospect of Lindsay ever being nice to him.

09:56 Lindsay’s bladder hears news of longer school days and shorter holidays. It almost empties itself involuntarily in disgust.

10:47 Lindsay wishes the sun would bugger off with its dust enhancing rays and fingerprint locating light.

11:01 Lindsay’s talking with a child online about his writing, whilst another student is looking at the digestive system.

“So what should your subheading be?”

“a – n – u – s. Anus.”

Lindsay can’t really concentrate on this text about the desert anymore. And her bladder is struggling to cope with the unexpected and frantic laughing fit.

12:12 Lindsay’s coming out with some choice language. She emerges from her cupboard to two shocked faces.

“Don’t worry. I was talking to your dad.”

She’s forgotten to put his sandwiches in with his bait. At least that’s his tea sorted for later.

13:12 Abigail seems happy.

“I like my English teacher now.”

“Why?”

“Because she doesn’t care. It must be like being taught by you.”

13:47 Lindsay gets sent a picture of a student’s drawing. It’s meant to be a giant squid but it looks like he’s moved onto the male reproductive system.

14:15 Abigail’s Maths teacher turns up to the lesson wearing a lobster costume. There was no ensuing sarcasm from Abigail at all. Much.

18:23 Joel’s being demanding.

“Can we get another dog?”

“No! You don’t walk the one we’ve got!”

“I will. I promise. And I’ll be living here for ages yet.”

“Excuse me?”