08:12 Lindsay’s woken up in a good mood.

“I found my freedom..on Blueberry Hill.”

“It’s thrill Linz, not freedom.”

“Why would it be thrill?”

“Because it rhymes!”

Lindsay’s not in a good mood anymore.

09:23 Lindsay’s happy again. DPD Paul won’t be coming with her parcel till 11:59 at the earliest.

09:24 Lindsay’s miserable again. The Next man has just knocked her up instead.

11:56 Lindsay notices she has a new follower on Twitter and decides to return the favour. Within seconds she had a picture of a naked female arse in her DMs with promises of more later. Lindsay probably won’t be as friendly on Twitter anymore.

12:06 Lindsay tells Ian about her shocking Twitter experience.

“Let’s have a look then.”

“I deleted it immediately!”

“Oh what did you go and do that for?! And how do you sign up for Twitter?”

12:11 Lindsay goes to drag Abigail out of bed for dancing then doubts herself. After checking, Abigail would have set a new world record and been two hours early for the lesson. Lindsay should really doubt herself more often.

14:03 Joel’s looking ahead.

“When’s pancake day mam?”

“I don’t know.”

“When’s pancake day?”

“I don’t know!!”

“I wasn’t asking you. I’m asking Siri.”

14:07 “Can we have pancakes though?”

“When?”

“On pancake day!”

“When is it?”

“I don’t know. Siri doesn’t listen to me either.”

“What are you giving up for Lent Joel?”

“What’s that got to do with pancake day?”

14:09 Lindsay tries again.

“What are you giving up for Lent then Joel?”

“Don’t know. You?”

“Parenting.”

16:16 Lindsay finally gets the pan clean which Joel used to cook scrambled eggs in 3 days ago. If making life hard for others was an acceptable skill for the Duke of Edinburgh award, Joel would have passed with flying colours. In 2005.

16:23 Joel announces he’s going for a bike ride.

“Where are you off to?

“The plastic river.”

Lindsay’s not gonna ask.

17:28 Sam’s hungry.

“Are we getting Chinese tonight?”

“No. Something better.”

“What’s that?”

“My homemade Chicken Fried Rice.”

“How’s that better?”

18:12 Joel returns from the plastic river.

“When’s tea?”

“Already cooked. Super organised me.”

“When did you cook it?”

“About an hour ago.”

“Why’s the oven still on then?”

“Oh feck!”

18:33 Lindsay contemplates going for a walk with Ian and Frankie.

“How about the fells Linz?”

“Ok. But one that’s not hilly.”