Day Fourteen in Lockdown #3.0

08:52 Lindsay has a new first. She realises she’s teaching without any knickers on.

10:51 Ian loses at teabag Jenga.

11:32 Abigail’s clearly not used to live lessons anymore. She emerges having written on her nose and not the paper.

12:43 Lindsay won’t stand up. Her Apple Watch is tired of being ignored.

“Now you know how teachers feel. And parents.”

13:37 Lindsay suddenly shows some excitement in the lesson.

“Was I right Miss?”

“No. My Matalan order’s arrived!”

14:55 Lindsay is discussing with her class why we don’t exactly know what Jesus looked like.

“Oh I know Miss. It’s because they didn’t have Wikipedia back then.”

15:02 Lindsay channels her inner Ant and Dec.

“I’m a demented teacher/homeschooler. Get me out of here!”

16:23 Lindsay’s having her tea and has a feeling something isn’t right.

“Mam. I thought you were pescatarian.”

“I am Joel. Chicken is a fish.”

Lindsay gives him a couple of minutes.

16:34 “Dad. Isn’t she vegan?”

“Who’s she? The cat’s mother.”

“No. We don’t have a cat.”

18:23 Lindsay’s nerves are frayed.

“Will someone answer that bloody phone?!”

“It’s someone phoning a friend on ‘Who wants to be a millionaire?’.

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