08:23 Lindsay has taken Frankie’s spot. He unleashes a FMD (Fart of Mass Destruction) to make Lindsay flee so he can reclaim his place on the sofa.

09:27 Lindsay is persisting with Wuthering Heights. She reckons it should be called Wondering Heights because she has to keep going on Wikipedia to find out what’s she’s just read.

10:34 Ian’s off out with the dog.

“Can you pick me up later?”

“What? Like go outside?”

“No. Just open the window and stick out your giant hand. I’ll be at Tesco.”

Lindsay needs Ian to go to work soon.

15:32 Joel’s shouting nonsense at the X-Box. Lindsay’s looking forward to masks being made compulsory inside houses.

17:45 Everyone’s discussing the day Joel is let loose in a car.

“Don’t let me. I’ll crash into some old woman’s hip and she’ll end up with brain damage.”

Lindsay hasn’t got high hopes of Joel passing GCSE Biology.

18:23 Abigail’s complaining about her teachers to Lindsay.

“And there’s one. She’s like Rudolph.”

“Right.”

“As in she has a red nose.”

“Oh. And there’s me thinking she had a pair of antlers.”