(Though nobody actually has it.)

05:32 Day 64 in the Corona House. Lindsay understands how the voiceover guy from Big Brother must have felt.

07:40 Lindsay watches as Frankie is outsmarted by a fly. He’s the Joel of the dog world.

07:42 Lindsay is sat staring at the exposed radiator pipes and half plastered walls. Only she could start a room makeover the day right before lockdown.

09:05 Chocolate back Ian seems to have turned into fondu back Ian. Those discs are slipping and sliding in all directions. As long as they slip the right way so he’s fit enough to go to work later, Lindsay doesn’t care.

09:42 Lindsay disappears down the side of the bed.

“What are you doing Linz?”

“I’m just sitting on my piles putting my fungal nail stuff on.”

“God, you’re a catch.”

10:02 “It’s Thank a Teacher Day Ian.”

“OK. If I find one, I’ll thank them.”

10:56 Lindsay has been walking downstream for ten minutes to try and find a safe place to cross the shallow river. She then remembers she’s wearing wellies.

12:21 Abigail has a plan.

“Mam. Can you email my Geography teacher and tell her how good I was yesterday at remembering directions and landmarks to stop you from getting lost?”

“Yeah, can do.”

“Where have you been anyway? You’ve been ages.”

“I got lost.”

13:24 Lindsay watches a sheep being sheared on Facebook. This reminds her to see if there’s a local farmer who’ll sort out Sam.

14:03 Joel appears to be in a good mood for a change but Lindsay is confused by the blue around his mouth. It turns out he’s been downing mouthwash on the rocks.

14:45 Lindsay sees an advert for an app where you can delete people out of your photos (life). She always suspected that her phone could read her mind and now she knows for definite.

16:07 Lindsay has a go at being Charlie Dimmock. But without the gardening expertise. And the boobs.

17:37 Lindsay is confused when she puts the daily briefing on by accident. It appears the ginger actor from Game On is answering the questions today.

18:01 Lindsay tells the kids about it being ‘Thank a Teacher Day’.

Abigail: Thanks.

Sam: Cheers.

Joel: And?

18:42 Lindsay sees a hangover in her future. As in tomorrow.

Read what happened yesterday on Day 63