(Though nobody actually has it.)

07:22 Lindsay adopts the Medusa look today. Crazy, unkempt hair. It reflects her life at the moment.

08:36 Lindsay’s excited. She’s finally ordered some new toothbrush heads. She’s not sure when she became sadder than she already was.

09:01 Lindsay looks like a fool, standing on the beach, playing with balls, while Frankie hides behind rocks.

09:03 Lindsay stops to pick up a brooch partially buried in the sand. It’s a pattern made by a lugworm.

10:30 Ian phones Lindsay to ask when she can take him to work.

“Now?! Right now?!….I’m on my way!”

10:36 Lindsay is being dragged along by a stupid Springer, with a full poo bag in one hand and a throwing stick in the other. It reminds her of going for a walk with toddler Joel.

11:05 Lindsay and Frankie arrive back to an empty house. Well, there are three wastes of space, oxygen thieves upstairs but they won’t count for the next few hours.

13:06 Lindsay checks Ian’s location. It makes her happy when she’s sees he’s so far away.

13:35 Lindsay needs to remember that, just because she’s too deaf to hear herself be very unladylike, others can still hear.

14:04 This home learning has been an eye opener for Lindsay. She didn’t realise teachers worked so hard.

14:23 Lindsay wishes her memory was as fantastic as her forgetfulness.

15:11 It turns out Lindsay has been napping on Joel’s Poetry Anthology booklet. As least someone is using it.

15:15 Joel lands in the kitchen.

“Mam, did you call my name?”

“Why on earth would I do that?”

15:29 Lindsay discovers she can still fit her right foot in her mouth. Boredom has reached new heights.

16:09 Lindsay giggles as she does something to annoy OCD Ian. Well, something different from the usual things she does. Like breathing.

16:26 Lindsay reads feedback from one of Joel’s teachers. She’s in shock that he’s submitted some work.

16:50 Lindsay tries cleaning out her ears. She’s dribbling everywhere and she hasn’t even had a drink yet.

17:49 The maternal instinct finally kicks in and Lindsay starts preparing tea without waiting for the kids to appear malnourished and dehydrated at the bottom of the stairs.

18:11 Lindsay then decides to treat Ian with some homemade fried rice. Until she remembers it’s to go with Indian. She throws some mushrooms in and calls it pilau.

18:34 Joel asks Lindsay when his dad will be home and is shocked by her reply.

“Hopefully not at all?”

“I did not say that.”

Lindsay wonders if Joel is a mind reader.

Read what happened yesterday on Day 55