Day Forty-Four in the Corona House

(Though nobody actually has it.)

05:24 Lindsay wakes up in her own bed. All seems to be quiet. It turns out her ears need syringed but that’s not happening in lockdown. She may never hear her own children again until this is all over. Thank you Lord.

06:16 Happiness is waking up fully rested, as fresh as a daisy, ready to face the world. Lindsay last felt like this in 2002.

08:43 There’s a slug obstacle course on the walk this morning. They’ve all got a death wish with a stomping, spectacle-less Lindsay on the loose.

08:54 Lindsay screams at Frankie to come back. Turns out it’s a baby brown deer with a white bottom. Frankie’s by her side, perplexed.

09:14 A daydreaming Lindsay has a confrontation with a tree branch. The branch wins.

11:45 Lindsay decides to taunt OCD Ian by putting the Bransty FC mug with the random ones, instead of with the other five thousand Bransty mugs.

12:01 Lindsay works out it’s Thursday.

“Oh, it’s clap day Ian.”

“I sincerely hope not!”

12:32 The lovely Ian prepares and serves lunch in the conservatory. Lindsay screams at him.

“We can’t eat in here!! It’s the only clean room left in the house!!”

12:47 Lindsay asks Joel what he’s doing because his breakfast is ready.

“You’re checking your feet for warts?!!!”

“No!! I’m collecting FIFA awards!!”

13:05 Ian chunters about the mug arrangement in the cupboard.

13:22 Lindsay cleans the kitchen floor in an attempt to trap Joel in the conservatory so he does some bloody schoolwork.

14:14 After half an hour of history work with Joel, Lindsay now feels as old as the Potsdam agreement.

16:43 Lindsay sees that one of Ian’s friends is now following her blog and tells him.

“Really? I didn’t think he could read.”

18:11 The boys are playing an online football tournament so everyone else has to knock off their devices to make sure the WiFi is good enough. Ian and Lindsay are faced with talking to each other.

“Think I’ll take Frankie for a walk.”

18:23 Lindsay walks into the downstairs toilet. She’ll pop back in five minutes when she remembers why she went in. Presumably it wasn’t for a wee.

18:42 Joel’s knocked out in the first round of the online football competition.

“What have you been bloody doing for the last 6 weeks?! What an absolute waste. You might as well have done some schoolwork!”

Read what happened yesterday on Day 43


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