(Though nobody actually has it.)

04:28 Cruelly it’s Lindsay’s bladder which wakes her this morning. After emptying it, she goes to find Frankie has taken her spot on the sofa. She forgets the old adage to let sleeping dogs lie and boots him off. He’s in a right mood now. Lindsay reckons he’ll be stroppy for the rest of the day.

08:28 Lindsay may declare today is an Inset day. No, on second thoughts, she’d still have to work. Lindsay’s gonna pull a sickie. Ian can try homeschooling his feral offspring for a change. He once went to school so he’s near enough qualified.

11:02 Frankie does indeed take revenge on Lindsay for stealing his spot. He barks non-stop for seven minutes because Abigail and Lindsay sit down on the walk. He’s turned into his owner – stubborn, moody and annoying. He can’t drive trains yet though.

11:03 Abigail lets Lindsay take a photo on condition she doesn’t use it in today’s blog. See above.

11:21 Lindsay immediately regrets engaging in conversation with Abigail about something called Roblox. She mentions schoolwork to shut her up.

12:02 Abigail submits her English and the teacher returns it marked after five minutes. What kind of teacher does that?!

12:08 Lindsay’s chuffed because she got perfect marks for her English story. Edit: Abigail got perfect marks for her own work.

13:12 Lindsay’s struggling to understand why she can’t fasten something she only wore yesterday. She then realises she’s wearing it inside out.

15:13 Lindsay declares she needs to find another box set because she’s finished The Crown. She settles on Afterlife.

“I’ll watch that with you Linz.”

“No you won’t. I don’t wanna spend even more time with you.”

18:01 The kitchen turns into a hairdressers and Lindsay lasts five minutes before Ian sacks her for taking a chunk out of his hair. He’s starting as a monk next week.

18:08 The kitchen turns into a farm as Sam the sheep comes down to have his monstrosity sheared off.

18:16 Lindsay had hoped she would have read a few books during the lockdown. All she’s managed is a few chapters of a French book about a plague which decimates a town in Algeria. Even Lindsay has to admit that she is a little bit weird.

18:27 Ian’s aghast because the sewing box is out. There isn’t a dance show coming up and he hasn’t popped a button off his pants in weeks.

See what happened yesterday on Day 40