(Though nobody actually has it.)
02:54 Lindsay wakes up confused. She remembers popping upstairs to watch an episode of the Crown at 20:27 last night. She obviously forgot to pop back downstairs.
05:15 Lindsay’s wide awake thanks to his lordship’s snoring. It’s fair to say that Ian has a range of snoring styles – popping, humming tutting, hoovering, trilling. But take away his ability to breathe and Lindsay reckons he wouldn’t be as good. Just an idea.
05:27 Lindsay gives up and decides to sleep downstairs. She turns up the volume on her phone as Keswick School teachers will probably start sending assignments in the next half hour so the notifications can wake him up.
05:42 Frankie goes to take Lindsay’s place in bed. He’s back downstairs within the minute to find somewhere quiet to sleep.
09:57 If Lindsay is this home school’s attendance officer, she’ll have to phone herself because her three have been AWOL for days.
10:57 Lindsay’s confused as to who’s been out and watered the pot plants. She then realises Frankie has obliged. With his willy.
11:02 Lindsay sees a man walking along the Loop Road in a 1980s shell suit. He has been in lockdown for a long time!
11:18 Frankie refrains from jumping into a swamp. Lindsay will have to phone the vet later to see see if he’s coming down with something.
11:24 Lindsay is startled by a chocolate brown dog running towards her. Turns out there’s no need to phone the vet.
11:38 Lindsay thinks she’s going to collapse from heat exhaustion, having to walk in this weather wearing skinny jeans and long sleeved tops. Maybe that’s why Ian/Baldrick won’t get her summer clothes down from the loft.
13:27 Lindsay knows that one of the boys is awake because Microsoft appears to be taking money out of her bank account.
14:57 Lindsay puts extra sugar in Ian’s tea in the hope it’ll sweeten him up and stop him from being such an arse.
15:14 Sam emerges for breakfast. 16 minutes before the end of the school day.
16:03 Joel is alive. He FaceTimes his mother. She rejects his call.
18:26 Lindsay is stuck between a rock and a hard place: venturing outside to be accosted by the chatty neighbour or staying inside with her children. At least it’s warm outside.
Read what happened yesterday on Day 35