Day Five in the Corona House

(Though nobody actually has it)

08:24 Frankie decides he can’t possibly socially distance himself anymore. He jumps on Lindsay, demands that his tummy is rubbed then proceeds to lick his privates in front of her.

09:10 Lindsay thinks the kids are taking the social distancing far too seriously as she still hasn’t had a fecking cup of tea on Mothers’ Day!

09:13 Abigail appears with vodka. Much appreciated, but Lindsay would still prefer a cuppa.

09:17 Abigail asks if she should go and get Joel. “NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING JOEL” is what the whole neighbourhood hears Lindsay shouting. Abigail gets the message.

13:11 Sam is definitely taking social distancing too seriously because Lindsay still hasn’t got a Mother’s Day present from him! Lazy swine!

13:37 Only in Britain could the sun finally come out when we’ve all been told to stay in. 🤦🏻‍♀️

14:42 Joel and Lindsay are arguing because she won’t make his lunch.

“Mothers’ Day is not about being a mother. It’s about not being a mother for one bloody day!!”

15:39 Lindsay spends the afternoon reading a French book about a plague which kills lots of people. Not her best idea.

16:31 Frankie s stressed. He’s refusing to eat the tripe Lindsay puts in front of him. It is actually raw tripe.

16:57 Sam is attempting to make a toastie but is instead making a lot of mess. “Stand down!!” Lindsay shouts. These Line Of Duty references have to stop.

17:01 Lindsay and Ian are discussing the death toll from Covid-19 in Italy and Ian explains why it’s so high.

“Really?! I didn’t realise there were so many in Italy.”

“So many what?”


“Not Asians!! Ageing! Italy has an ageing population, hence the higher number of deaths!”

“Oh yeah, that would make more sense 😬” Lindsay now understands.

Read what happened yesterday on Day 4

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