10:14 Lindsay’s confused when she goes to clean the floor but there’s no fluid left. She’s even more confused when she goes to order some more and it’s advertised as multilingual. She’s not really fussed about how many languages it speaks. She just wants it to clean her floor.

10:56 Lindsay gets excited when Ian suggests a takeaway. Then she remembers she can’t eat meat. Or taste food.

13:06 Lindsay’s day suddenly brightens up. She hasn’t done the Daily Express Cryptic Crossword today. That’s the next hour sorted. Unless she cheats like usual, so ten minutes.

14:23 Abigail is pestering Lindsay to play cards again. She wants to play Knock Out Whist. Lindsay wants to play Knock Out Abigail.

16:23 Lindsay slops some tea onto Ian’s plate. If Ian was fussy about how his food looked, he’d have been 9 stone since the day he married Lindsay.

16:37 Joel arrives back with some good news.

“I got a B in my Psychology test.”

“Well done…Hang on! Does that mean stand for bad?”

“No!”

“Barely passed!”

“No! Bugger off!”

“It stands for bugger off?”

“No! That’s what I’m telling you to do!”

17:23 Lindsay’s nominating some new followers for an award. One sounds exotic so she takes a look. It’s for escorts in Mumbai. Best not use that one then.