08:36 Ian’s perplexed.

“You haven’t tried your Mother’s Day vodka.”

“Give me time. The kids aren’t up yet.”

09:23 Lindsay’s in a sadistic mood. Or just wants to try out her present. She contemplates putting trainers in the washing machine. Surely that almighty racket will wake up the nuggets.

09:24 Lindsay’s phone auto corrects buggers to nuggets. Lindsay is offended. She’s pescatarian.

10:23 Lindsay is looking for a doormat on Amazon and finds herself understanding reviews in German. It then hits her that she can still remember German from 1992 but Joel can’t remember any from last week.

11:06 Lindsay hunts out some unflattering clothes to hide her unflattering lockdown body. She sees it as her civic duty.

12:12 You would think Lindsay had just drunk some Heineken. She has just cleaned parts of the house that others have failed to reach.

12:43 Joel’s in training for the Crystal Maze. He has a bunch of keys, one padlock and only five minutes to open the shed, get his bike out and meet his friend. He doesn’t get the crystal.

14:23 Lindsay can’t be bothered with humans today. She tries to go incognito in Tesco by wearing an extra large mask with a baseball cap.

14:24 “Hi Miss.”

16:34 Joel’s upset with Lindsay. He’s refusing to speak to her. If only Lindsay could remember how she finally managed this.

16:38 Lindsay could do with a week off to finish cleaning the house. She has a cunning plan.

“Joel! You need to do a COVID test. Come on. You’re good at failing tests.”

17:02 Lindsay’s getting excited about the new Line of Duty.

“How many do you think we’ll get watched tonight Ian?”

“We’ll only be able to watch one.”

“What?! No box set? I have to wait a week like in the olden days?”

18:21 Lindsay makes the mistake of setting the shower off whilst fully dressed with a bursting bladder. That’s the magic filling washing basket full again.