08:49 Lindsay decides she doesn’t need a costume for World Book Day. She’s been teaching in a cupboard for 39 days. She doesn’t need to draw a lightning scar on her forehead with eyeliner.

10:46 Lindsay’s touch lamp is switching itself on and off, doing what it wants. It’s like a mini electronic Joel.

11:06 Lindsay’s testing Joel on German verbs.

“What’s durfen?”

“To surf?”

“No. What’s wollen?”

“To volley?”

“No. What’s mussen?”

“To muscle?”

“No. What’s the point?”

“Never heard that one.”

13:37 Lindsay’s teaching her class about deep sea creatures. Some specimens struggle. They’re small and grow slowly because food is scarce. They sound like Lindsay’s kids.

14:32 Sam’s right outside Lindsay’s ‘study’ as she emerges.

“It sounds like you were enjoying that lesson.”

“Why?”

“You were laughing your head off.”

“Yeah, that was their answers.”

15:01 Joel’s desperate for a haircut and Lindsay volunteers.

“Promise you won’t make me look stupid?”

“Bit late for that!”

17:08 Lindsay gets high praise from Abigail at tea time.

“Oh my god Mam! This tastes normal!”

17:11 Lindsay’s confusing Sam and Joel.

“What on earth are you doing?”

“I’m looking for Jeremy Beadle. That’s twice in two weeks you’ve both asked for seconds.”

18:34 Lindsay’s fed up of watching The Tudors. Ten episodes in and Henry VIII still hasn’t married Anne Boleyn. Lindsay is thankful now to her history teachers at school for not dragging it out. One lesson he fancied her, next lesson he married her and ransacked some monasteries and third lesson he chopped her head off. Next lesson. World War One. Who needs chronology?

19:01 Lindsay’s irritated.

“Joel. Will you move?!”

“Why?”

“I don’t like people sitting right next to me.”

“Since when?”

“Since you sat right next to me.”