Day Fifty-Four in Lockdown #3.0

08:36 Frankie jumps onto the bed. Lindsay scratches his bum so that he wags his tail in Ian’s face in excitement. That was quite a fun start to the morning.

09:32 Lindsay’s trying to cure her deafness.

“Linz. Why did you just put eye drops in your ears?”

“Did I? Well I can’t see any better.”

09:36 Ian’s been talking with a female friend talking about going for a dog walk but she was worried about how Lindsay would react.

“Is Lindsay not the jealous kind Ian?”

“ No, she’s the ‘for the love of God, will someone else take him out’ kind.”

11:14 Lindsay’s morning improves when she decides not to be considerate and starts hoovering to get revenge on the kids for approximately 6 years worth of early morning starts.

11:23 Lindsay didn’t think that through as now all the kids are up demanding to be fed.

11:31 Someone is getting impatient.

“Mam. You know those fried eggs sandwiches you’re making?”


“Would it help if you actually put the eggs in the frying pan?”

“Oh yeah.”

12:41 Lindsay can’t locate Ian. It must mean he’s up a fell in the middle of nowhere without a phone signal. So that’s fine.

13:23 Lindsay takes some clothes to Joel’s room.

“I didn’t speak to you like that.”

“What are you on about Joel?”

“I wouldn’t.”

“Wouldn’t what?!”

“You know!”

“Are you dreaming?”

“Am I awake?”

Lindsay leaves more confused than Joel obviously is.

13:24 Lindsay can hear Sam laughing.

“What are you chuckling at?”

“What was that conversation?”

“God knows. Oh crap. I’ve forgot to take his shoes. I need to go back in. Pray for me Sam.”

15:11 Ian makes the fatal mistake of pointing out something that Lindsay does which really annoys him.

15:16 Lindsay’s trying to get Joel to strip his bed.


“Apart from smelling worse than Frankie’s arse, it’s an essential life skill you need to do know for when you move out.”

“About that. Is it compulsory?”

17:02 Ian doesn’t get Lindsay’s logic.

“Why are we getting a takeaway again?”

“Because February finishes early so that’s three days of me spending no money.”

“So we’re celebrating saving money by buying a takeaway?”

“It makes sense in my head.”


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