Day Twenty-Four in Lockdown #3.0

09:01 One of Lindsay’s students announces that the world is flat. It is way too early in the morning to have to tackle this.

09:17 Ian jumps out of the bed and races out of the house because his friend needs help with something. Lindsay’s gonna change her name to Warren.

10:47 In-between lessons, Lindsay has to help Abigail on Romantic poets. She learns they liked solitude. That’s a kind of romance Lindsay could handle.

11:27 Abigail does an impression of one of her teachers. They are indeed a strange species.

11:56 Faced with yet another IT problem from a student, Lindsay decides to channel Roy from the IT Crowd.

“Have you tried turning it off then on?”

11:57 Ian promises to walk the dog. He just doesn’t specify what time. Or which day. Or which month.

13:34 Joel receives audio feedback from one of his teachers. She talks to him in a happy and friendly manner. Lindsay should really try that sometime.

14:32 Lindsay walks the dog with her broken back and chocolate ankle. Ian will suffer for this.

14:46 Lindsay falls over again. Ian will suffer for this.

15:23 Lindsay laughs as Frankie has his own Vicar of Dibley moment. She stops laughing when Frankie stops in front of her and shakes his wet tail feathers in her face.

16:05 Lindsay makes a point of showing every member of her family her wet, muddy jeans and her scratched hand. Every single of one them just laughs.

16:06 Lindsay stomps into the shower.

16:07 Every bugger in the house decides to wash their hands, flush the toilet, load the washing machine, fill the imaginary kettle, water the outdoor plants, water the indoor artificial plants or just turn the tap on so Lindsay’s shower is ruined.

16:09 Ian decides he’s now a joiner after watching some videos on YouTube.

16:23 Abigail needs tea stained paper for her art lesson. Lindsay asks her if she wants to pour the water into the dish. She is reluctant because of the time she burnt herself as a toddler.

“No. I can’t. I’ve PMT.”

“I think you mean PTSD.”

17:02 Lindsay’s confused as to how Frankie has mentioned her in his Instagram bio. Then she remembers he’s a dog and she’s a human and she set up his Instagram account.

17:16 Lindsay is transfixed watching the Uber Eats driver en route with her tea. The app asks if Lindsay wants to give David the driver a tip. Yes she would. Drive faster and take the bloody short cut up Midgey!!

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