Day Twenty-Three in Lockdown #3.0

08:08 Lindsay makes a Freudian slip.

“Just gonna check my fools’ work. I mean school work.”

10:47 Amazon (but not Amazon) phone again.

“Why do they keep phoning?”

“Because they know you’re notorious for being utterly stupid and being taken in by scammers and losing us money.”

“Fair enough.”

12:03 Lindsay’s computer freezes but she’s not angry. She sits back and has the best laugh as she listens to another adult explain to three different children, with muted microphones, who are all at different stages, what to do next.

12:54 Joel is suspicious.

“What’s this you’ve made me?”


“You’re feeding me pot? Which is hot?”

12:57 Joel is still suspicious about his meal.

“What’s this?”

“What does it look like?”

“A green vegetable.”

“It’s probably a leek.”

“I’m not eating that.”

“Don’t then.”

Joel puts it straight in his mouth.

14:31 Lindsay receives the question of the day from a student.

“Why am I in a lesson?”

15:32 Lindsay checks the news.

“Did you hear the news about school Joels? Jesus. I mean Joel. One is enough.”

“I heard that.”

15:57 Abigail is confused.

“Why are you cleaning the cooker?” It’s not Christmas. In fact, how does our cooker even get dirty?!”

16:55 Lindsay excels herself. She registers for a virtual meeting about apprenticeships. 24 hours early.

17:32 “Mam. It’s the Sixth Form online meeting tonight.”

Ah now Lindsay remembers. Right day. Wrong child.

18:12 Ian starts to say something to Lindsay.

“Oh I can’t remember now. Just ignore me.”

“Can I?”

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