In the words of Dolly Parton, “here we go again.”

“It’s ‘Here you come again’ Linz!!”

This could be a long lockdown in more ways than one.

08:59 Lindsay is woken up by notifications from the kids’ school.

“Bloody teachers waking me up.”

“Aren’t you meant to be meeting with your own class this morning?”

“Shit!”

Lindsay doesn’t quite jump out of bed. She needs to kind of swivel first, then lever herself gently to give her joints time to wake up too.

09:52 Lindsay tries to escape from her reality which is planning by singing Billy Joel. Badly and loudly.

“Mam! I’ll get up if you stop singing.”

An interesting new strategy.

11:43 The last trace of Christmas is removed. Lindsay is depressed. That she won’t be able to remove Joel from the house too for at least six weeks.

12:03 The home learning battle recommences.

“Joel!! Work!!’

“Don’t need to. I’m not doing exams.”

“They’ll have to use your mock results then.”

Joel turns white immediately.

13:12 Ian and Lindsay are watching the news and Lindsay is confused.

“What’s Roald Dahl got to do with the vaccine?”

“Rolled out Linz!! Rolled out!”

14:23 Sam is sorting out his room and gives Lindsay his Christmas card. From 2019. And some teeth from 2017.

15:05 Two weeks of no dancing and Abigail can barely manage the Hokey Cokely. Frankie leaves the room ashamed.

16:12 Lindsay is depressed reading an article about schools being shut for longer than six weeks.

“That’s Dry January out then.”

“You had cider last night. And vodka the night before. And some wine on New Year’s Day.”

Turns out Dry January was never in.

17:23 Lindsay’s watching a teacher recruitment advert.

“He’s not a real teacher!!”

“How do you know?”

“He’s smiling for a start.”

18:34 Joel’s full of bravado.

“I am not doing any German.”

“Yes you will.”

“You can’t make me. I’ll run upstairs to the basement.”

Maybe German isn’t a priority.

19:25 Lindsay receives an email from Mary and Kevin implying she was the one who got schools closed. She’s not sure she deserves ALL the credit.