(Still haven’t caught it.)

10:23 Ian’s trying to persuade Lindsay to come on the dog walk.

“No. I’ve got loads of Bridgerton to do…..Cleaning! I mean cleaning!”

10:54 Lindsay gets an email asking Can You Dance? She types ‘I think I can when drunk’ and hits reply. Turns out it’s the name of the company and it was probably for Abigail.

11:01 Lindsay cleans herself with shampoo, washes her hair with shower gel then goes to moisturise with toothpaste. It doesn’t bode well for the rest of the year.

11:38 Joel’s been complaining about the Wifi so Lindsay goes to reset the hub. She’s appalled by how dusty the table is and cleans it. She forgets to reset the hub.

13:01 Lindsay goes to clean the toilet. She ends up needing a wee. She forgets to clean the toilet.

13:17 Ian returns from the walk.

“Ian. You need to take the record player back.”

“Why?”

“It only plays half the album.”

14:42 “I’m going to clean the shower Ian.”

14:43 Lindsay manically sprays some industrial strength bleach over the tiles then lies on the bed playing Solitaire.

16:32 Joel notices the new turntable.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a record player.”

“What does it do?”

“Plays records.”

“What did you get that for?”

“Because I wanted something else to dust.”

17:01 Lindsay’s grumbling again.

“Ian. This door handle doesn’t work.”

“It’s a dummy.”

“That’s what I’m saying! It doesn’t work.”

Ian thinks it’s gonna be another long year.

18:32 The red wine starts to kick in. Lindsay thinks she can dance.