I’m going back to work quite soon,
The new normal is now in reach.
This, however, troubles me,
As I’ve forgotten how to teach!
I know how to procrastinate,
And waste my day doing nowt.
But I’ve forgotten how to roll my eyes
And resist the urge to shout.
I know how to eat too many snacks,
And drink copious amounts of tea.
But I’ve forgotten how to multiply,
And count in French beyond three.
I know how to hide upstairs,
When my own kids say they’re stuck.
But I’ve forgotten how to starve all day,
And rub my rumbling stomach.
I know how to watch box sets,
They really are addictive.
But I’ve forgotten how to write the date,
As well as the learning objective.
I know how to lie in the sun,
And watch the clouds float by.
But I’ve forgotten what the school rules are,
And how to make unruly students comply.
I know how to message tradesmen,
And get lower prices with my charm.
But I’ve forgotten where my diary is,
And how to set the blinking alarm.
I know I have to go back to work,
The government is unyielding.
Hang on! I don’t know where my school pass is,
So I can’t even enter the building!!