I’m going back to work quite soon,

The new normal is now in reach.

This, however, troubles me,

As I’ve forgotten how to teach!

I know how to procrastinate,

And waste my day doing nowt.

But I’ve forgotten how to roll my eyes

And resist the urge to shout.

I know how to eat too many snacks,

And drink copious amounts of tea.

But I’ve forgotten how to multiply,

And count in French beyond three.

I know how to hide upstairs,

When my own kids say they’re stuck.

But I’ve forgotten how to starve all day,

And rub my rumbling stomach.

I know how to watch box sets,

They really are addictive.

But I’ve forgotten how to write the date,

As well as the learning objective.

I know how to lie in the sun,

And watch the clouds float by.

But I’ve forgotten what the school rules are,

And how to make unruly students comply.

I know how to message tradesmen,

And get lower prices with my charm.

But I’ve forgotten where my diary is,

And how to set the blinking alarm.

I know I have to go back to work,

The government is unyielding.

Hang on! I don’t know where my school pass is,

So I can’t even enter the building!!