Day One in the Corona House (though no one actually has it)
7:30 Sam and Joel have to be physically restrained from killing their sister, as she taunts them about being off school.
7:35, 7:37, 7:39 Before going to school, Joel coughs at convenient moments and insists he needs to self isolate. Pathetic attempt ignored by mother.
7:51 Joel produces the most terrifying death stare ever as his mother waves enthusiastically at him standing at the bus stop as she makes her way back home in her pyjamas, instead of going to work.
9:05 Abigail begins complaining about the amount of work she has been set by school and demands help every five minutes from her mother, who has locked herself in the toilet for the sixth time already that day.
11:05 Frankie is not impressed that humans are in the house, destroying his usual peace, so he farts furiously to make them leave the room.
12:57 Lindsay suddenly remembers where she put the iron last September and proceeds to spend hours ironing school shirts.
4:47 Lindsay suddenly realises her kids will probably not need school uniform anymore so she’s wasted valuable time when she could have been catching up on Line of Duty.
5:25 Lindsay jumps up and down in excitement as school closures are announced.
5:26 Lindsay seeks out alcohol on realising this means Joel will also be off!